He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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