I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
