i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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