That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
