3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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