I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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