What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
