I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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