So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
