If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
