There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
