that's an acceptable place to lick
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
These tits shall not be calmed
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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