I won't be sarcastic... just naked
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
