the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
