the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
