she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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