I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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