i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
