Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
