just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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