Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
