I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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