okay pat passed out under dana's car
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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