Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
