idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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