tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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