it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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