He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
