My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
