my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
