so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
