Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
