Porn is love you can see.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
