So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
