If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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