I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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