Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
