I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
