Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
