chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
