She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My penis needs a shock collar
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
