He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
