We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
