Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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