and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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