last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
