Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
