So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
