I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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