this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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