I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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