i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
